Bachelor Party
by theyellowumbrella
Summary: Just a one shot about Barney's disastrous bachelor party. Better than it sounds, I suck at summaries. Rated T for mild language.


**Hey guys! This is my first HIMYM fanfic, well, that I've posted on here. I'll post loads more of them later but I'm posting this first of all. Its just my thoughts on Barney's bachelor party which Quinn happens to be at. I had this idea on Sunday but I didn't have time to write it until Tuesday, which is tonight so sorry if its rushed. I might post another chapter, which will be Robin's disastrous bachelorette party. Rates and reviews are appreciated, constructive critisicm is allowed. **

"Okay, sorry if its not as cool as you hoped. We didn't have much planning time." Ted said as him and Marshall guided Barney towards the door of the apartment. Barney didn't reply, he just followed the boys.

"Can I take the blindfold off now?" He said after a moment of silence.

"No, not yet. In a minute though, Marshall just has to open the door." Ted replied, passing Marshall his spare key. He fumbled around with it, slipping it into the door and opening it with ease.

"Ted, take the blindfold off of him now." Marshall instructed as he looked around the familiar living room, looking for the stripper he had hired. Finally, his eyes fell on a medium-sized woman, wearing very little clothes. Her back was turned, meaning nobody could see her face. Her blonde curls seemed familiar, but Marshall shook it off. Ted proceeded to untie the unbelievably tight knot. Finally, it fell off of his eyes. By this point the stripper had turned around, Marshall was gawking and Ted had a terrified look in his eyes.

Barney's jaw had dropped all the way to the floor, trying to avoid looking his former fiance in the eye. He was extremely pissed at Marshall and Ted, the anger building up in his chest.

"What the fuck? Did you think hiring my ex-fiance for my bachelor party would make me laugh? Would make me _happy_?" Ted stumbled to the couch, falling onto it.

"It was Marshall, he-he was in charge of strippers!" Ted yelled accusingly, pointing at Marshall.

"I...I didn't...I just..." Marshall couldn't seem to string together a sentence, he was horrified with the look on Barney's face.

"You didn't think to ask _not _to give us Karma, aka _**Quinn Garvey**_?!" Marshall shook his head.

"Barney. How nice to see you again." Quinn stated sarcastically, pushing Marshall and Barney onto the couch. She started to give Barney a lap dance, much to his horror.

"What the...?" He muttered, sighing.

"I'm not missing out on good money, Stinson. Anyway, when I heard I was coming here I thought maybe you wanted to sort things out. And then I heard it was a bachelor party. So, who's the lucky lady? Met a girl and seven months later proposed? Nice one." She said with a chuckle. Barney sighed, partly in relief that she didn't know it was Robin, partly in frustration because he would have to tell her. He decided against letting her know, just saying it was a girl.

"Robin. He's marrying Robin." Marshall piped up, much to the dismay of Ted and Barney.

"Dude! Not cool!" Ted exclaimed, groaning.

"Robin, seriously? As in I-don't-have-feeling-for-her-I-only-love-you Robin? Of course. You know, that was my first thought, Barney. Then I brushed it away, even though it was stupid." Suddenly, Lets Go To The Mall started playing from Barney's phone. He slipped his hand into his pocket to retrieve it, seeing Robin's name appearing on the screen. With another sigh, he answered it.

"Hey, baby. I'm at the bachelor party. Marshall and Ted hired a stripper, guess who?" He said in a rush, followed by a silence.

"Its not...It can't be...Quinn?" She whispered after a while, saying the name like it was a curse.

"Yeah, its her. Listen, baby, Marshall didn't know it would be her. I'm having such a shit time, please, save me. Or call Lily. Or visit her or just get me out of here!" He exclaimed, ignoring the fact that Quinn was listening.

"Yeah, okay. I'll just...I'll call you back." She said in exasperation.

"Right. I love you."

"Love you too, Barney."

"Ted, you up for a dance?" Quinn asked, moving from Barney to Ted. He nodded.

"Alright. Here we go." She wrapped her leg around his neck, placing her breasts in his face. He dug into his pocket, producing a fifty dollar note and placing it in the top of her lingerie.

Marshall was texting Lily, phoning her and leaving desperate voicemails.

"Lily, call me back as soon as possible. Quinn's back. Tell Robin I'm sorry." He said into the receiver, leaving yet another voicemail.

Barney was pacing the kitchen, waiting on some kind of help call. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Barney rushed to it, revealing Lily and Marvin.

"Lily, thank you! Come on." Lily glared at Quinn, who returned it.

"Marshall, Barney, out there. Quinn, off of Ted. Ted, hallway with the guys. And Quinn, as for you. Lets go." She pounced on her, resulting in the boys pulling her off.

"Quinn, get out, don't come back. Lily, we're all going to MacLarens. Lets go." Marshall ordered. They all followed the instructions, and an hour later, Marshall, Ted, Lily, Robin and Barney were all at the bar, drinking beers and laughing about the disaster of a night.


End file.
